Blood Donors is a new interview series I am hoping to do in the next few months. Writers, editors, publishers… hopefully, I’ll get a bit of them all on here.
To kick start this series, I would like to introduce you all to Leprechaun Extraordinaire, Steve Lowe. Sometimes he’s a writer. Sometimes he’s a leprechaun. Sometimes, I’m not sure he even knows what he really is. Alien from another country, maybe? Who knows? Who cares?
With no further adieu, welcome to the Donation Center, Steve Lowe.
AJ: Who is Steve Lowe and why should I care?
SL: Some say ‘Steve Lowe’ is the prodigy of a pedantic polygraph technician from Madrid and the chief financial officer of Mary Kay’s west coast sales division. Others will tell you he’s the immaculately conceived offspring of an as-yet unnamed deity originating from without our Milky Way. Still others will insist he is no one, just like everyone else, simply a wisp of insignificant matter shuffling along this mortal coil, biding his time before he is returned to the dust from whence he came. However, they would all be tragically wrong in their assertions. Steve Lowe is actually the man currently sneaking up behind you RIGHT NOW!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
AJ: Other than when you’re not sneaking up behind people in a somewhat homicidal, perverted manner, what do you do for a living?
SL: When you take the homicide and perversion out of my living, there’s not much left. Just some scribblings here and there that will likely amount to little more than evidence in my trial. I’m hoping for a hung jury so I can yell out in the courtroom, “That’s what she said!”
AJ: Speaking of scribblings that may be used as evidence against you, Mr. Lowe, you have a book coming out soon. Would you mind telling us about it?
SL: Not at all. Actually, I’ll give you a couple thoughts from early reviewers of both books. MUSCLE MEMORY, a bizarro comedy about bodyswitching rednecks, is due out in November from Eraserhead Press and has been called “A fast-paced story that is hilarious, poignant, and weird. Sort of like VICE VERSA meets THE INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS,” by Jordan Krall (author of FISTFUL OF FEET).
Matthew Revert (author of A MILLION VERSIONS OF RIGHT) called it ” … a short, sharp book with exciting, compelling momentum with characters you can’t help but like. It has both emotional resonance and sly humour in abundance. I recommend it very highly and can only assume that Lowe has a very bright future ahead of him.”
My second book, also due out in November, is a dark werewolf thriller called WOLVES DRESSED AS MEN. Awesome writer dude Kevin Wallis (BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THINGS) had this to say about it: “Lowe takes the tense action and brutal violence of quality werewolf fiction, then adds characters the reader will grow to love and hate in equal measure. He strips back the outer flesh and fur of a lycanthrope and delves deep into his protagonist’s inner pain, giving the reader a close-up view of the turmoil within the beast and the struggle inside the man. With both horror and humor, and an ending as powerful as it is satisfying, Lowe’s novella debut will create many new fans.”
AJ: Not that I asked for more than one book, but okay. Clearly your ego precedes you. Still, those are some impressive blurbs . I especially like part of Wallis’s words, “a close-up view of the turmoil within the beast and the struggle inside the man.” Could this be an accurate description of Mr. Steve Lowe, as well?
SL: Yes, my ego is something to behold, isn’t it? And they are impressive blurbs because I cajoled professional writers into writing them for me. As for Wallis’ description, it is almost accurate except for one word – man. Leprechauns are technically asexual.
AJ: Hmmmm… I find it interesting that you can use the word ‘conjole’ and ‘is’ in the same paragraph and manage to use them in proper context. Speaking of Leprechauns, is it true that you are indeed a Leprechaun that goes by the name of THE?
SL: My lack of a pot of gold has put my leprechaun status in serious jeopardy. I don’t think I’ll survive the next round of job cuts. This time next month, my position will be outsourced to some dude in Bombay. And don’t ever utter my secret codename again on the Internet. There’s people watching, dude. Top. People.
AJ: Last question: Have you looked out your window lately? I think someone is watching you. But, that doesn’t matter at the moment. Where can we find out more about Steve Lowe and the scribblings that could get you into trouble?
SL: Unfortunately, this padded cell is sans windows, but I am certain that someone is watching me. Always watching. To find out more exciting news, amazing book reviews and mind-numbingly hilarious interviews, point your browser to this jumble of letters and whatnot: http://steve-lowe.com/
AJ: Thank you, THE. We here at Blood Donors appreciate your time, skin and blood.
SL: My pleasure, thanks for having me. Now I must go eat something before I pass out.
(Herbie’s note: no real people were hurt during this interview. Only small appliances and a butter knife or two were damaged.)