NAWHC Recap

Posted: May 2, 2011 by ajbrown in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

It is the beginning of May. Do you know where your horror writer is? Many of them are either at home or on their way home from World Horror Convention 2011 in Austin, Texas (where everything is bigger, yah know?). A HUGE chunk of my friends were at WHC Austin. Alas, I was not.

A couple of weeks ago I made the statement that I was going to create an event called NAWHC, not so better known as the Not At the World Horror Convention. It was to be a joke and I hoped to get a few folks interested in it. One individual ran with it for a day or two and I was happy about that. A couple of others chimed in as well.

I posted a few things on Facebook, lamenting my lack of appearance in Austin, but also trying to have a little fun with the whole situation. A quick recap of the events that did/did not happen at NAWHC 2011.

Late night theater on the Eve of the NAWHC 2011 we will be showing the uncut version of Saturday the 14th. Yeah, that’s right. We’re going cheesy horror tonight… and don’t forget the day old donuts.

The next day:

Good morning from NAWHC 2011. Today’s continental breakfast consists of Pop Tarts and cold coffee. Feel free to make yourself at home in the scantly lit foyer until more of our Non-WHC folks arrive…

Here at NAWHC 2011 there is no registration nor any fee for participating. However, there is also the lack of real people here. Maybe some entertainment might help… Where’s the werepig when you need him to read Dracula’s Winkie…

He was apparently searching for his pants, which made no sense to me. Since when does the werepig wear pants. The watching of Dracula’s Winkie followed, starring Alethea Kontis, Greg Hall and R. Scott McCoy.

Still more posts:

Here at NAWHC (Not At the World Horror Convention) 2011, we have migraines before the first drink has been had… and we’re talking the blessings of Strawberry Kool-aid here…

I must say that Saturday was epically busy and I had all but decided that NAWHC 2011 had been a tremendous failure. It had been difficult getting a couple of folks to play along, but I greatly appreciated their efforts when they were there.

Something happened on what was supposed to have been the final day of NAWHC. Someone had come up with a game plan–events that were to take place throughout the day, complete with an itinerary.

NAWHC Itinerary

A little information about this itinerary: My lovely wife, Catherine aka Cate, typed this up, burned the edges of the paper and then tried to burn a hole into one side. The itinerary almost went up in smoke–which would have been par for the course at this point. However, she managed to put the fire out and still have a wickedly cool looking schedule of events.

Look closely. There’s an award on there called the Bram “StokeHer.” No, that was not a typo…

We had a brief meet and greet with the family members. I shall refer to them as Jedi Knight One (the boy, Logan), Wednesday Addams (the girl, Chloe) and the aforementioned Cate Brown. We chatted, shook hands and chatted some more before our continental breakfast of home made bacon, egg and cheese biscuits were served along with a tall glass of milk.

After breakfast was gobbled down by the hungry monsters, it was time for the open mic portion of activities.

First there was a grand reading of a portion of Diary of a Wimpy Kid done by Wednesday Addams. If you are an adult, this book is still pretty funny, which kind of throws out any horrific elements.

The second story was read by Jedi Knight One and was a book called David Goes to School. This was a truly amazing narration of the story of David, a child clearly with listening issues.

After a stint of parks and grocery stores, followed by the losing effort on behalf of the Detroit Redwings, the NAWHC picked back up with the art show. Yes, there was an art show. Wednesday and Jedi Knight One drew pictures and then told us about them.

Logan NAWHC Pciture

This first one was by the boy and that middle thing there is a Star Wars ship and the good guy. The thing to the right is… you guessed it, a pumpkin and it is the bad guy. That thing on the left is the scary monster that the Star Wars ship is going to destroy. Or so sayeth the Jedi Knight.

Chloe Art NAWHC

This second image is by Wednesday Addams and that’s a female vampire and she is clearly afraid of that yellow box looking thing. Apparently it is a device that is used to kill vampires. It’s supposed to replicate the light of the sun.

We followed that up with a book signing. Okay, now this was interesting in every way, shape and form. I’ve never done a book signing. I’ve never even been to one. My wife grabbed a couple of books that I have appeared in (shameless plug about to follow): Necrotic Tissue #12, in which my story Picket Fences appeared and Ladies and Gentlemen of Horror 2010, in which my short story, A Sickly Sweet Scent appeared. She set these on the table, along with one of my better writing pens and several slips of paper.

This is where things got interesting. First my son comes into the kitchen, acting all nervous as if I were Stephen King or someone cool. Maybe Yoda.

“Can I have your autograph?” he asked. I couldn’t help but smile when I wrote out a brief thank you for his interest in my work, signed it and drew a smiley face beneath my name. He ran through the hall, paper in hand, yelling, “I got his autograph. I got his autograph.”

My daughter came next and I did the same for her. Then came Cate. She sashayed up and talked like a woman interested in the writer, not the book. My interest was peaked. I wrote a little more than I probably would have for any other fan, including my phone number and the words ‘Call Me’ on it.

She walked away and they came back again, the kids dressed a little differently and acting like different people. Wednesday did a great preppy snob, but was still given an autograph.

Cate came back as well, this time with a black scarf around her neck. She eased up beside me, slipped that scarf over one of my shoulders. I have no clue what she said, but my back got the chills and I was thankful I didn’t have to stand up at that particular moment. I can not tell a lie, my face got all red and I was speechless. For real. Do you know what it’s like for me to be speechless? Let me see if I can give you an example of me being speechless: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Yeah, that about sums it up. It doesn’t happen often, but Cate had me both speechless and quite… in need of staying seated.

They came through the line once again and the book signing was over.

Shortly there after came the awards ceremony. The Best Reading Award went to Jedi Knight One. The Best Art Exhibit Award went to Wednesday Addams. Then came the surprise of the entire NAWHC. I received the Bram “StokeHer” Award for reasons that will not be discussed here, though there was nonsense spoken about being a good writer and editor and always keeping a professional demeanor about myself, even when dealing with sexy fans lust driven and wearing black scarves…

I give you the Bram “StokeHer” award…

Stoke Her Award

Cate–Catherine–made this. She did a bit of research, found an image of the real Stoker and then created this most magnificent award. I may never win a Stoker, but I guaran-damn-tee I will be the only person to win a “StokeHer”… And Cate agrees…

And so the NAWHC ended with a silly grin on my face and warmth in my heart. My lovely wife, knowing how much I wanted to go to WHC 2011 and knowing how disappointed I was not to go, created a small version of a convention for me, here at home. My kids helped her out with this and they were actually excited about it. I may not have made it to Austin this year, but I think, all things said and done, what my family did for me on the last day of NAWHC will be a memory I will forever cherish.

I may not have many fans, but I do have three of them and they are amazing and they are all that matters…

Thank you and I love you Catherine, Chloe and Logan…

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Comments
  1. That is so AWESOME! You have an amazing family 🙂

    If I wasn’t going to WHC next year, I’d totally want to go to NAWHC!

  2. That’s really cool, AJ. Your wife and kids are awesome.

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